Essay on My Parents Divorce Text

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Where could they be? i knew they must be somewhere, but my search for a gap, or even a crack, yielded no fruit. That was several years ago, and now, as an adult, i know that they didn’t mean broken in the literal sense. But i can still remember the confusion, that burning question inside of me: if my home is as sturdy as everyone else’s, then why am i labeled as different? if my home is as sturdy as everyone else’s, then why am i labeled as different? it’s a painful reality that has taken me all these years to accept: being different, being broken.

I used to wonder: if it’s bad to break things, is it bad to be broken too? i can see there is something broken about my family. Instead of being one supportive unit, our home has been one of incessant fighting, friction and worry. It means that instead of following my parents’ directives, i am forced to decide which parent to listen to. I hate being stuck in the middle of two sides, trapped in the center of the conflict, with no place to turn.

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Sometimes i think the solution would be to just go to one side to give one parent the victory. And then i’m forced to choose between the two people i love most in the world to decide which one i want to give up. How could i willingly tear a part of my heart out like that? and, as much as i just want one place to belong, i can’t choose not with so much at stake. And the longer i’m there, the more i feel myself tearing, one strand at a time.

And i know that if i leave things this way, then i’ll eventually break down altogether. Soon the rope will tear in half, and as a result, both my parents will fall to the ground. With each tug, they seem to be telling me, we each want you so much that we’re going to fight for you, even if it means hurting you in the process.

And so, sometimes, in the middle of all the fighting, i just close my eyes and tell myself, smile. Do you know why mommy’s crying? because she loves you and wants to be with you. Do you know why daddy’s smashing the door? because he loves you so much that he can’t bear to leave without you. I wish they wouldn’t fight over me with so much vigor when i let myself look at life that way, i feel infused with hope. The pressure is enormous, and it’s so easy to just bounce back but still, i am growing. I’m not just a survivor i am a fighter! i can win, and i will! life is all about choices. I could be crushed by my parents’ love, or i could use it as a springboard to grow and flourish.

This is the mindset that keeps me going, and helps me appreciate the hard times in my life. I am no longer ashamed of my troubles, but i hold them high as my badge of honor. Now what do you have to show for yourself? you might think i’m crazy, but it’s this mentality that gets me through life with a smile. Sometimes, life seems so difficult that the maturity i might gain can’t possibly be worth this pain i’m enduring. Surely there is no way to justify my troubles, that knife that is constantly searing into me.

But then i remind myself that each of us is a diamond, and it’s those cuts that allow us to shine and sparkle to truly bring out the beauty within us. I won’t deny that life is difficult, and my reality isn’t as rosy as i make it sound. So i’m sure g‑d has a very good reason for each of the challenges he gives me. And maybe it was good that my parents split up after all, my home is a lot calmer now.

But i like to look at life through even rosier glasses with the knowledge that everything g‑d does is good. And all the wrong that you see is really an illusion it seems that way only because our perspective is so limited. If we only took a step back, we could appreciate the beautiful masterpiece that g‑d is designing. Perhaps when we focus on one area of the artwork it might seem dark or plain, but those details are needed to bring out the true beauty of the painting. And perhaps they are as important to the masterpiece as the focal points because without the simplicity of the background, the bright colors wouldn’t stand out.

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