College Essay Show Not Tell Text

Jonathan Friesen - Writing Coach

It's common knowledge that you're supposed to show, not tell, in your college essay. Admissions officers read tons of essays, and many of them are similar to each other. Still, anyone who has written a college essay can tell you that this is easier said than done! keep these three tips in mind: 1.

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While it may seem like this is unnecessary you already know yourself , this can be very helpful later on in the essay writing process. When making the list, think about your passions, character, and personality traits, rather than your accomplishments. After all, the admissions officers already saw your transcript, test scores, and resume. Things to include are your tenacity, creativity, close bond to your family, love of tuba playing, rugby, finger painting, or whatever applies to you! 2. Look at your list, and think about a topic that will give you the best opportunity to showcase your passions and personality traits.

However, if the school to which you are applying does not give you much flexibility on topics, don't worry! schools spend a lot of time picking topics that they think will inspire a good essay that shows your personality. Usually, application essay topics are open ended and allow you a lot of space to be creative. If they require a particular topic, think about how to write a response that will best exhibit the qualities you listed in step 1. Even if it's something simple like asking you to talk about your favorite book, you can write of a story explaining your love for this book. Remember to pick an essay topic that you are excited to write about, as this will show through in the essay. When writing your essay, it is easy to fall into the trap of approaching it as if it is a thesis essay about why you are so great, and why college x should accept you. Always keep in mind that the admissions officers reading your essay are overworked and forced to read hundreds of similar essays.

The goal of your essay should be to engage the reader, to make yourself stand out, and to make him or her want to meet you. The story does not have to be an earth shattering tale of pulling a child from a burning building or climbing mount everest. If you have a story like this, great! however, if you're like 99.9% of us, and don't, there's no need to worry. Some of the best essays recount seemingly boring events that were important to the applicant. Include colorful anecdotes, talk about your thoughts and connect your essay to your dreams and who you are as a person.

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My essay is about a small but meaningful for me conflict between my parent and me that reveals my character. I mostly describe the conflict, my feelings and struggles with it, and how it was ultimately resolved, but do not explicitly state how this conflict demonstrates my personality. I'm worried that my essay may leave the readers with the question: so what? should i add a short sentence at the end that explicitly links this event with my overall character/realization such as: this shows that i am. Of course, if i do add these in my essay, they wouldn't be as blunt and awkward as these or should i just keep it subtle and let the readers infer the significance of the event and how it reflects my character? is there any other ways i can reveal about myself in a way that is less awkward and more natural? don't tell us that the old lady screamed. Samuel clemens we've all heard the phrase show, don't tell but may not know what it means or how to do it.

It's one of those elusive things that seem impossible to capture, even harder to get down on paper. It slows down your pacing, takes away your action and pulls your reader out of your story. Showing, however, is active and concrete creating mental images that brings your story and your characters to life. When you hear about writing that is vivid, evocative and strong, chances are there's plenty of showing in it. Showing is interactive and encourages the reader to participate in the reading experience by drawing her own conclusions. They're not evil little words that have to be avoided at all costs, but they should be kept to a minimum. The pages ruffled open, the names inside seeming exposed and vulnerable against the stark black leather.

Dan got to his feet, moving so fast his chair skidded against the floor and dented the new drywall. Do you see the details in the second example? nowhere did i use the word angrily or even angry. Not to be: avoid the forms of this verb am, is, are, was, was being, will have been, could have been, et al. These not only put you in the passive tense much of the time, but they also tend to remove your reader from the action. Again, they aren't evil words to be avoided at all costs see i just used the verb myself but if you can work your writing to make it stronger without the word was or any form of it, you'll show more than you told. She saw it and was immediately transported back to her childhood because it had all the elements she remembered. A thick white shag carpet, two plush maroon velvet chairs flanking a silent fireplace.

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What were the chances? another room, just like the one she'd had, years ago, before she'd grown up and grown out of the one space that had brought her happiness. Granted, i took a little poetic license with the rules of grammar, but you can do that. You can see the details that bring her back to the past, rather than just being told that it does. Starting with as or ing: again, as with all of the other examples, this is not a do or die rule either. However, in general, you should avoid starting a sentence with an as or ing construction.

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Rapping at the door, elaine made her presence known to the people inside the house. Elaine formed a tight fist with her right hand and pounded on the unforgiving oak. Do you see the tighter imagery in the second example? the stronger beginning? removing that ing construction really helps. Don't just look and feel: looked and felt are great words, but they certainly aren't powerful and they certainly don't show much. You could interchange he looked angry or he felt angry in the he said angrily part. Telling the reader someone looks a certain way or feels a certain way is cheating the reader out of drawing her own conclusions. Watch movies and write down facial expressions, movements, actions, gestures, etc.

writing exercise: here's an exercise for you to do with that take a word: scary, weird, ugly, etc. What does scary look like? weird? ugly? don't say the baby was ugly and you know, we've all seen one ugly baby in our lifetimes , describe it. Here's a list of quick tips to keep in mind that should help you show, not tell: 1. Is the car a toyota or a volkswagen? is it cherry red or apple red? does the man sit in a la z boy or a barcalounger? brand names help the reader identify with things better, too. Also, the more concrete your details are, the more your reader can get a visual picture. One way to do this is to take a simple sentence and increase it with details by adding to it example from my lawn was covered with leaves. I stared out the window and watched them pile up against the sparse shrubs and worn out fence.