Argumentative Essay Topics About Divorce Text

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The stereotype effects that the society associates with divorce today, our society neglects to believe there is in fact something known as a good divorce. In her book, constance ahrons tells the story of how she was getting ready to attend a wedding. When people asked her what wedding she would be attending, she replied it was the sister of her daughter, ultimately it would be the half sister of her daughter. This woman was attending the marriage of her ex husbands daughter whom she had no relation to. Ahrons was very close to this daughter which goes to show that even though her ex husband had a new child with a new woman, she was able to overcome the bad divorce stereotyped relationships and actually had a good bond with her daughter and ex husbands new family ahrons 1 13. Today many people are too busy thinking about the bad things that are associated with divorce, that they do not realize it is very well possible to have a good and low conflict divorce.

The driving force behind this is how the parents deal with the divorce when it comes to their children. Divorce is portrayed as a bad thing because people want to preserve the idea of the traditional family values that have been developed in our society. Many people do not want to acknowledge the idea that raising a family is possible outside of marriage because it goes against the ideal family values. D, brings up the point that normal kids must have two parents of different genders who live in the same household anything else is abnormal, and if you’re abnormal then you must be dysfunctional 11. This is the social norm that has been constructed in our society when in reality, a family very well can exist following a divorce. From a religious perspective, marriage is a cherished part of life, so divorce is portrayed negatively.

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Christians are expected to remain as lifelong companions when one woman and one man marry divorce. If two people decide to brake this bond between one another, it is not something that is usually accepted at their church. In the christian religion the community of faith provides rejection rather than support and healing u.s divorce rates. Due to the fact that the church does make the divorcing family feel shameful rather than accepting and helping the family in time of need, of course the religion would put a shameful name to divorce in hopes to discourage it.

If parents are constantly arguing with one another, sometimes a divorce is better for themselves as well as the child so there is not conflict in the family. If our society changed their views about the traditional family values, they would be able to see that divorce does not always make children more likely to get into trouble or be depressed. Another way that divorce may be portrayed as a bad thing is because of therapists as well as biased statistical evidence. Sometimes counselors use deceptive persuasion to keep their clients coming back for treatment. According to professor cialdini, a professor of psychology at asu, five percent of people are leaders and the remaining amount are all followers influence.

For example, a counselor might want to convince a client of divorce that their children are going to have problems very detrimental to their health following the divorce so they need to keep coming back for treatment. Counselors feed off of financial gain from the victims of the situation and sometimes are only taking advantage of the situation rather than looking out for the best interest. Another issue reflecting the bad name for divorce would be in regards to the biased statistics and studies associated with it.

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In 1989, a new york times magazine sited that 66 percent of young women in our society between the ages of nineteen and twenty three will suffer debilitating effects of their parents’ divorce years later, but in her study, constance found out that this statistic was eighteen out of twenty seven woman that were interviewed ahrons,19. Statistics can be accumulated to support how the writer feels by asking the question a certain way so they are not always accurate findings. These non accurate statistics do largely influence the bad portrayal of divorce because the society does not know any better. Divorce is said to have lasting detrimental effects on children but many of these effects are stereotypes. Children are about twice as likely to have behavior problems compared to those children in families that are still intact but according studies have shown that about seventy five to eighty percent of these children will not experience problems hughes. The problem with these stereotypes is that not all children of divorce experience these problems and when they are automatically categorized it can affect their feelings toward the divorce. One of the most popular beliefs is that children of divorce are more likely to have academic problems.

Generally it is said that after a divorce children from six to eight cry frequently and feel rejected by their parents causing them to do bad in school because they concentrate on their sadness and children nine to twelve express with aggressive behavior and do not get along with their peers abrams 41. Although it is assumed that divorce is the cause of these childhood problems, that is not always the case. D, says that studies shown about half of the behavioral, achievement and emotional problems seen in boys from divorced families could be identified as early as four years prior to divorce. This shows that a lot of these reported behavior problems did not result from divorce but were in fact issues that were a problem long before a divorce occurred in their lives. Sometimes these behavior problems among children will happen because of pressures within society, and what they learn from television and video games. Children with act out these behaviors with or without a divorce so it is not fair to say that divorce is the cause of these behavior problems.

It is important that parents do not neglect their child and stay involved with their lives. Parents should invite conversations about the child and their feelings as well as reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and that the child will always be loved diener. It is crucial for the parent to participate in their child’s life and not to ignore their needs because it will only hurt their relationship with the child as well as hurt the child themselves.

Parents also need to respect the rules of one another by establishing bed times, television times and discipline it provides the child with stability and security niolon. This will help the child from feeling neglected and have problems that prevent them from focusing on school. Another assumption is that when parents divorce the children will face added stress, anxiety, or depression. Generally it is younger children in preschool and ages six to eight that experience anxiety by being emotionally sad, excessive crying, nightmares, bedwetting and sometimes going back to younger behaviors such as sucking on their thumb abrams 41. If the children’s parents neglect them after the divorce then it is likely that the child will develop an anxiety or depression but if their parents maintain the same stable lifestyle and talk with their children this is less likely to occur. If the child is exposed to arguments and tension among the two parents, it may make the child feel guilty, alone and add stress so it is important that the parents do not argue in front of the child nncc effects of divorce.

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No matter how much each parent does not like one another they must be responsible adults and battle out their conflicts with one another at a different time. When children witness conflict between their parents they are more likely to have behavior and emotional disturbances, suffer social interpersonal problems, and show impairment in their thought and reasoning process niolon. The most important factor of raising children after a divorce is to remember that the child’s needs are the most important ones. If the parents put the needs and respect of their child ahead of the differences among one another, then the child most likely will not feel the depression or anxiety of a child who constantly has to be in the middle of high conflict fights among the parents.

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Parents need to be a positive role model for their child by interacting friendly with one another. Sometimes parents tend to criticize the other parent for not providing a safe living style, not caring for the child correctly, or even influencing the child’s behavior after divorce. It is important for the parents to remember to be dedicated to the child’s schedules and find a happy medium for the child, and both parents.

In a study done by the children’s rights council, when children had the right to good relationships with both of their parents, many of the harmful effects associated with divorce were greatly minimized abrams 60. It is important that the child continues to have a good relationship with each parent after the divorce and that each parent respects the child’s relationship with the other parent. Another assumption is that when a child experiences a divorce, they are more likely to have commitment problems just as their parents did. The media portrays that a child of divorce is very likely to have relationship problems throughout their life, and are very likely to end up in a divorce themselves.